Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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