I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
