That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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