We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
