Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
