I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
