dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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