I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
