If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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