i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
