I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
