tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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