I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
where are my eyebrows?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
