Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
