thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
