He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize