It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
