I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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