you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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