my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
