just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
