Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
