We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
