Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
