you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
