I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
