ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
