I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
