You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
