Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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