hell yes lets make some ravioli
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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