I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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