I am in a vortex of obligation.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
