Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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