I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Vodka?
Forever.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
