I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
