you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He shit in the fireplace
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
