dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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