i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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