I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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