guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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