Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
