is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
