he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
