Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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