Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
