someone get that fucking seahorse.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were trust falling into bushes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize