Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
