I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
