bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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