Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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