I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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