it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
