i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
