Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
