Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
