They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
