Jerry, you need to find god
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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