What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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