sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
