okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
