i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
