operation have a gay friend backfired
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
