just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
