alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
