She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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