what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
