And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
