You made me cry and you don't even care
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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