fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
