So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
