this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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