I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize